Western Oregon Journal

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            Last week, I took time out of my already busy schedule to go talk to a financial aid officer. I went more because my mom forced me to go, rather than of my own accord. I figured that they wouldn't give me more money, and that there would be no point in even trying.

            "Just tell them the truth," my mom told me.

            And that's what I did.

            First of all, I told the officer, my parents do not pay for college. Even if they did, the Expected Family Contribution (EFC) that the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) calculated is ridiculously higher than what it should be. We have experienced a loss of income from my dad losing overtime (which is invalid because it is overtime, and not a significant enough amount to change the FAFSA outcome); my mother's job is in jeopardy (also invalid because a potential loss of income is unpredictable); and they have had several emergency expenses (which, again, does not count).

            I was surprised, sitting in that bare, windowless office, listening to the officer tell me bluntly that there was no way they'd give me more aid. Part of me knew this would happen, but for someone to be so unsympathetic was shocking. There were no "I'm sorrys" or "Oh, that's too bads." Instead, I was rebutted with excuse after excuse on why Western could not help me.

            The entire time in the office, I shook from nervousness, remembering all of the things that my mom had told me about my loans: "You can't keep taking out these private loans. The interest's too high, and it'll start compounding."

            Truthfully, I do try.

            I try to save money for tuition, and I work hard, like many other students. But working isn't close to being enough. I'm willing to make sacrifices otherwise I wouldn't be here. But some restrictions are just too much-I have to have my car and make payments on it; I have to have a place to live; I have to go grocery shopping. I know many students are probably in my same position.

            It's so frustrating to try to make sacrifices when it seems so one-sided.

            Instead of sitting there, seeing a student who is obviously in need, and telling her that she simply isn't doing enough will not solve any problems. Simply walking around campus, I see brand-new sidewalks, completely new, green lawns and construction of on-campus townhouses. But among that, I also see a lot of people who are in the same unfortunate circumstance as myself-facing a lifetime of paying off loans and worrying about paychecks. What's wrong with this picture? I understand that the beautification of the campus is important, but wouldn't it make more sense to allocate the funds more wisely and perhaps use some of that money for scholarships and grants?

            I also think that the scholarships and grants that we already have should be distributed more wisely. Decisions should be completely colorblind, with scholarships awarded to those who work hard and want to be in college, not solely because Western wants to diversify and add a larger minority population to the campus. Instead, it seems as if Western, and other universities, would rather push its students away with poor financial services and expensive programs. Even I am faced with the option of simply not coming back because college costs so much.

            I left the financial aid office last week with an overwhelming sense of doom-I actually felt worse after speaking with the officer than I did before, something I thought would be impossible.

            Next year will be another year of loans, I thought to myself.

            I went to financial aid hoping that my expectation was wrong, when I was right all along-they really weren't going to help at all.

            I don't want to look back at my college experience in 20 years and think that it was a huge mistake because of the insane debt it put me into; I'd rather look back in 20 years and wish I could do it again.

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