Putting all you have to give in one person is without a doubt one of the biggest challenges any of us will face. All your trust and love, all of your secrets and fears, you will inevitably offer up to this person in hopes that will like what they see. And if you find that one person who makes you whole, something inside you comes alive.
Connecting with someone on a level that no one can even begin to comprehend is life changing, but it is also dangerous.
To put your whole self into one relationship is to expose your heart, an extremely vulnerable act. They will break you, eventually. You will fall hard, and your trust will grow unattainable. But amongst all the devastation you will become strong and you will heal.
Unfortunately, it is a completely different story when you cannot escape. I was forced to look him in the eyes everyday, a nearly impossible task. I think we both knew on some level that the divide was not a permanent one. We played along and tried desperately to convince ourselves that we would move on with our separate lives soon enough.
I clung to hope, thinking that it would have to get better. Days passed at a lethal pace. Then there was a letter; a breakthrough. Questions consumed me: how could this work? Was I strong enough to give all of myself again? Was there even anything left to give? I had lost who I was.
I have lost some in my 21 years, but there are few things that I am not strong enough to recreate, to repossess. You live once, one time; that is all we get in this life. Mae West once said, "you only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
When I have reached the end of my life, I would like to look back and be able to say that I truly lived it. I believe that people deserve many chances, and if I were in someone else's place, at the mercy of someone else's judgment I would want them to give me the benefit of the doubt. I will give a person as many chances as I can endure to give. I have a lot of faith in the game of chance, and at the end of the day we do not have much to lose.
What is the worst that can happen? You lose your dignity, you are forced to swallow your pride, maybe your feelings get hurt or you suffer from a broken heart? That is nothing compared to what you could gain. I took a chance, I put my faith in my relationship, and not only did I break even but I was victorious, we were victorious. To all those skeptics who say people don't change, I am here to tell you to have a little faith and to take a chance. Put yourself in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, bet against the odds.
It is good for you to believe in the "impossible," because you only have a handful of years here; use them wisely. Live without regrets, because they are an epic waste of time, and time is too valuable to waste. Trust and fall without looking, because sometimes you get lucky and fall in love.
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